Children and the Church
A local church has an attached Primary school, here are some of the children's answers to Bible questions:
Noah's wife was Joan of Ark
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery
The Epistles were the wives of the Apostles
A Christian should only have one wife, this is called monotony
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night
The Lord's followers were called the 12 Decibels
Entries in Church Bulletins
Don't let worry kill you - let the church helpThursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs Julius Belzer
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends
Tuesday at 4 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early
Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs Jones will sing "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor
Thursday at 5 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar
The service will close with "Littler Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice
4 comments:
very funny... maybe i should go to church more often
Thanks for the comments Tara. No one else is posting any comments- maybe because they don't know they can. As to church- my own slightly funny story is that when I was very young were were told to write a short piece on Christmas and then read it in front of the class. I went first and got in front of everybody and read 'Christmas was the day that Jesus was hanged...'
I never heard that story from you before? Who was the teacher?
Jane, sorry for the delay. It was Mrs Nelson 3rd grade. I just went to church with a 'whatever' attitude. So I hadn’t tuned in to the whole 'Life's story of Christ yet (my bad, actually). Remember that boring start to every Lutheran service? The back and forth singing (term?) between the Pastor and Congregation that was written so poorly that you had to ridiculously speed up your words to fit them in at times?
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